My dear friend,
This journey has been incredible! I am so thankful for all of my new friends who walked with me and encouraged me through these Wanderings and Ponderings—you most of all!
In this last episode, I’m walking through chapters 16-19:
- A Thief In The Night
- The Clouds Burst
- The Return Journey
- The Last Stage
I feel like I haven’t been able to “settle back into home” after finishing this book. There were so many new moments I am eager to go back to in the same way Bilbo desired to return to Rivendell and never leave. All of the moments of finding out what really happened for the first time are now etched into my memory like an old hymn.
A beautiful soul on my Instagram commented this week that they are on their 100th+ read. With what I experienced here, I am confident I will one day be able to say the same.
Without further ado, let’s Wander & Ponder our way through this last set of chapters from The Hobbit.
A Thief In The Night
“‘This is the Arkenstone of Thrain,’ said Bilbo, ‘the Heart of the Mountain; and it is also the heart of Thorin. He values it above a river of gold. I give it to you. It will aid you in your bargaining.’ Then Bilbo, not without a shudder, not without a glance of longing, handed the marvellous stone to Bard, and he held it in his hand, as though dazed.”
~The Hobbit, Chapter XVI: A Thief In The Night, J.R.R. Tolkien
With this gesture, the Elvenking of the Woodland Realm dubbed Bilbo more worthy to wear the armor of elf-princes than many who have looked more comely in it. And then there’s Bard, standing in awe of the galaxy-like stone in his hand as they continued in conversation, I’m sure not forgetting about the daydream of gold still sitting beneath the mountain with Dale’s claim on it.
“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
Matthew 5:9, 1599 Geneva Bible
A life that leans into humility, forgiveness and restored relationship more than material possessions or personal wants is a worthy one.
Even after the Elvenking and Bard accept the Arkenstone, Bilbo is set on going back to the mountain, knowing this may mean certain death for him when Thorin finds out what he’s done… but, he told Bombur he’d be back at midnight, and he was going to keep his word. Amazing!
A “Well done! Mr. Baggins!” from Gandalf was most likely the spur of hope Bilbo needed to believe this was a good decision on his part and even though his many questions would have to wait, I can sense his shoulders lower just a little bit now that Gandalf is back with wisdom and calm just before the storm.
“At midnight he woke up Bombur; and then in turn rolled himself up in his corner, without listening to the old dwarf’s thanks (which he felt he had hardly earned). He was soon fast asleep; forgetting all his worries till the morning. As a matter of fact he was dreaming of eggs and bacon.”
~The Hobbit, Chapter XVI: A Thief In The Night, J.R.R. Tolkien
The peace that comes when one lets go of the outcome of a situation is something only understood by those who have experienced it. Even the biggest and scariest moments can be shrouded in peace if we know we’ve done our part; we’ve done all we can do and now sleep is the wisest next thing, surrendering it into the hands of the Wiser One.
The Clouds Burst
The stubbornness of dwarves… the desperation of Thorin…
I do quite understand what it feels like to incorrectly believe that everyone is against you. This, to me, seems what Thorin is experiencing in this moment.
“Everyone wants ‘my’ gold. Everyone is coming to fight me for it. The so-called enemy has MY Arkenstone, and the person I have trusted most on this journey, perhaps outside of Gandalf has betrayed me—as well as now Gandalf?!”
People (and dwarves, it would seem) behave rather… un-eloquently… when put in a corner. There was opportunity for peace. There was grace offered. And even though in the end the true enemy was fought by the united dwarves and men and elves anyway, Thorin squandered this chance at making amends before the battle arrived on his doorstep.
“‘It will not be long now,’ thought Bilbo, ‘before the goblins win the Gate, and we are all slaughtered or driven down and captured. Really it is all slaughtered or driven down and captured. Really it is enough to make one weep, after all one has gone though. I would rather old Smaug had been left with all the wretched treasure, than that these vile creatures should get it, and poor old Bombur, and Balin and Fili and Kili and all the rest come to a bad end; and Bard too, and the Lake-men and the merry elves. Misery me! I have heard songs of many battles, and I have always understood that defeat may be glorious. It seems very uncomfortable, not to say distressing. I wish I was well out of it.’”
~The Hobbit, Chapter XVII: The Clouds Burst, J.R.R. Tolkien
Dear me, poor Bilbo… if only you knew what you were saying. If not for the slaying of the dragon, your nephew’s quest surely would have failed, too.
But in the end—and I’m sure years later as Bilbo recalled these desperate words—he was truly thankful that his wish for Smaug rather than the goblins to have the treasure wasn’t true, and that Frodo would be safer, even if only a little, on his own perilous journey.
Should have been called “Battle of Six Armies” or yet “Seven” to include Beorn, really. The Eagles! The Eagles! The Eagles! {Fade to Black}
The Return Journey
I had to sit with this one for a while. Quite opposite of the Flies and Spiders chapter I wrote about in Books Are Always Better Than The Movie—I couldn’t leave that chapter quickly enough to get away from the creepy-crawlies.
I remember sitting next to my friend in the theater, Thorin bidding Bilbo goodbye, telling him to go back to his books and his armchair as he drew his last breath. We were both sobbing right along with the rest of the patrons. This was the end… but not the end. It was a grief that felt like mine.
That was in December of 2014.
At the end of February of last year, my father laid helpless in a hospital bed in the ICU. It’s a long story, and a sad and angering one at that. The short of it is he had a hemorrhagic stroke, and an un-treated case of pneumonia. He was as stubborn as a dwarf, too. The doctors told me they could possibly heal the pneumonia, but at 79 he would have to have round-the-clock-care for the rest of his life due to the paralysis on his whole left side and inability to swallow or perform any other bodily functions. He had already told me his thoughts on this years prior and I made the hardest (and easiest) decision to remove all plugs, tubes and beeps to allow him to pass in peace.
I had a bit of a longer goodbye with my dad than Bilbo had with Thorin, but as I left the hospital for the last time in San Luis Obispo and got back in the rental car to make our way back to New Mexico I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. I was going back to my books. Back to my armchair. Back to my so-called comfortable life with nothing but one small chest of my father’s important belongings. Back home to plant my trees and watch them grow… only this time without sending him the pictures of the garden’s progress or the growth of his grandchildren anymore.
From the time I called 911 for a welfare check on my dad that his senior apartment complex refused to do, to the phone call that he had passed at 11:30 pm on March 1st was 6 days. He was on heavy pain medication the last three days and non-responsive, so it kind of did feel like a short goodbye. He was awake on Wednesday when we got there, and I was able to talk to him and tell him I love him; tell him goodnight and I’ll see you tomorrow… those were our last words. And I am glad for that.
“‘Farewell King Under the Mountain,’ he said. ‘This is a bitter adventure, if it must end so; and not a mountain of gold can amend it. Yet I am glad that I have shared in your perils—that has been more than any Baggins deserves.’”
~The Hobbit, Chapter XVIII: The Return Journey, J.R.R. Tolkien
Parting gifts and invitations to tea at four were given as Bilbo prepared for the journey back home with his many new names—Bilbo the Magnificent, Bilbo, elf-friend and Bilbo the blessed.
The hardships and adventures along the return journey were to be expected. Even without goblins or wild wolves at his back, Bilbo still had to make his way through the perilous terrain he had stepped woolly toes on just months prior, coming again to the house of Beorn in the middle of Winter.
On Yule, or Jól
I took a side quest to find out more about Yule and was fascinated by my findings. Knowing that Tolkien was a scholar of Norse mythology, I found articles, stories and poems that pointed to his use of this pagan holiday in his writings and how Middle-earth would have celebrated. Here’s what I found:
- Yule: How the Vikings Celebrated the Winter Holiday, History
- Hakon the Good’s Saga, Gutenberg
- Sturlaugs saga starfsama (The Saga of Sturlaugr the Industrious), Skaldic Poetry of the Scandinavian Middle Ages
- Helgakviða Hjörvarðssonar (The Lay of Helgi Hjörvardsson), Völuspá – Poetic Edda
This time would have been filled with feasting and drinking and Beorn’s beloved animals serving a multitude of guests during this twelve-day celebration of the sun returning, of new oaths (New Year’s Resolutions) and new beginnings as it is now time to look toward the garden for the year’s provision.
Into Spring, Bilbo enjoyed the home and garden of Beorn, and I know exactly the regret he would have felt leaving it, if I had to leave my beautiful garden right now…
The Last Stage
“It was on May the First that the two came back at last to the brink of the valley of Rivendell, where stood the Last (or the First) Homely House. Again it was evening, their ponies were tired, especially the one that carried the baggage; and they all felt in need of rest. As they rode down the steep path, Bilbo heard the elves still singing in the trees, as if they had not stopped since he left; and as soon as the riders came down into the lower glades of the wood they burst into a song of much the same kind as before…”
~The Hobbit, Chapter XIX: The Last Stage, J.R.R. Tolkien
The jokes and the jests about singing and snoring made weariness fall off of Bilbo by morning… (of course sung in the voice and tune of Andy Serkis in this chapter of The Hobbit audiobook)
Another week of healing at the Homely House of Elrond and the hobbit retraced his steps to the old troll hoard, retrieving the gold that was buried for later, and then taking the road that goes ever ever on until he saw his own Hill in the distance.
Ah… Home.
What an unfortunate moment to find out that your entire village counted you as “Presumed Dead”, and sorry to find the presumption wrong!
I am something of a conspiracy theorist, but this one takes the cake—it took ‘quite a long time’ before Mr. Baggins was in fact admitted to be alive again? Ha!! People and their “stuff”…
No wonder Mr. Proudfoot was always giving the Bagginses the stank face… just saying.
Some years later in Autumn, Gandalf and Balin took Bilbo up on his offer to stop by anytime and with his shared tobacco, they reminisced about that blessed journey to the Lonely Mountain and back again, I am sure not without a shed tear or two for Thorin, Fili and Kili. And as I type these last words in this series… for my Dad.
My dear friend, I do not have the right words of thanks to you for being here, reading the words I’ve shared. I know how precious time is, especially in these days we are living in. I do not take a single second of time with you for granted.
What Has Helped Me Along The Way
- Your support. I could not have finished this with the same spirit I started with if not for your subscribing, liking, commenting and encouraging me along every episode!
- The Red Book of Westmarch from Magnoli Props. A Birthday gift from my husband and a treasure I shall cherish forever. It was like stepping into Bilbo’s library to find more details that helped the story come alive in new ways (and gave me some pretty sweet photos for my posts!).
- Substack. This platform was incredibly intimidating at first, especially coming off the heels of social media. I have had to learn how to use this platform in an entirely different way than I use social media and I am grateful for the growth, and for the beautiful souls on here that I now consider friends.
I have poured my heart and soul into sharing this journey through The Hobbit for the first time with you, and I am quite sad that it’s over, but hope is kindled because I know which Tolkien book we are going to be exploring next. I’ll be sharing about that soon, so be sure you are subscribed so you don’t miss a note!
Until our next meeting,
Allison
